Vivid and Nourishing Relation (AHCW)

Vivid and Nourishing Relation

• How Much Do We Miss?
• Washington Post Social Experiment: Joshua Bell, how our society experiences beauty
• Most of us are rushing forward
• Leave our bodies, leave our senses
• Why are we here?
• Lost in the Shadows
• When you think of the great epiphanies in your life
• Common denominator: being awake and in our senses
• Moments that matter, we are here for them
• The other side to it: some of our deepest suffering is a disappointment in where our lives are at. "Not what I imagined it to be" "It's not turning out"
• Buddha, "one fathom long body"
• Here we can find all the teachings, suffering, cause of suffering, and end of suffering.
• Within this fathom long body we experience tis mysterious flow of life.
• In this body we experience love. We can talk about it, but in the body is where we experience it. 
• This body is the portal through this living form to that formless dimension, body is gateway.
• When the going gets tough, we are designed to leave. We leave. Universal conditioning.
• It is to the degree where we become habituated. 
• We become dissociated
• We lose vitality, creativity, love
• Each of us have an experience of pulling way, and have that incessant dialogue in our minds. (Figuring out mode, planning, in our heads)
• We are in a culture that perpetuates it
• "Shallows"
• The way the brain works we can take a massive amount information, but the understanding and integration is not really there.
• The "shallows" mean we have like an attention deficit and we play on the surface, we take a lot of pieces in, but there is not a depth of understanding. 
• There is not a depth of putting together the patterns and seeing the picture.  
• Dissociation Has Serious Consequences
• Mind body split
• We are evolving, and spending more time in this virtual reality, and there is a price to pay for the disconnection.
• When living cut-off from our body
• more addiction
• more violence
• more cut off from empathy and compassion
• cut off from listening to our bodies
• eating disorders
• sleeping disorders
• D.H. Lawerence: 1931, "It is a question, practically of relationship. We must get back into relation, vivid and nourishing relation to the cosmos and the universe... For the truth is, we are perishing for lack of fulfillment of our greater needs, we are cut off from the great sources of our inward nourishment and renewal, sources which flow eternally in the universe. Vitally, the human race is dying. It is like a great uprooted tree, with its roots in the air. We must plan ourselves again in the universe." -Lady Chatterley's Lover
• Meditation "planting ourselves back"
• reestablishing that relationship to connect with each other and the Earth. 
• Suffering is Optional: We can Surf the Waves of Physical Pain
• When there is unpleasantness we pull away, we must learn to come back to the body and find some freedom.
• Physical pain, we also pull away
• how do we replant ourselves? How do we stay when it is so unpleasant in our bodies?
• Physical and emotional pain have overlapping neuro regions in the brain, strategies are similar.
• There are ways to work with physical and learning to stay. 
• Swami Satchidananda: "You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf."
• We can't stop the unpleasant, and some of use will lock it into something chronic - we need to find a way to  surf.
• Core teaching: That unpleasantness and pain is inevitable, in every one of us. BUT suffering is optional.
• Correlate (the other core) teaching: The more we resist unpleasantness, the more we suffer. 
• Pain X Resistance = Suffering 
• We contract in many ways, physically and in a big way mentally. With our attitude. 
• Mental tensing (an add on): "this is bad, it's a problem, I'm a victim,  I have to figure it out, it's my fault, it someone else's fault, this is wrong." 
• We fixate on how long is it going to last, how long will it keep me from moving on, what does it mean - all mental resistance.
• The attitude that serves 
• Instead of being at war at pain, stop the war.
• Do whatever is possible and kind to relieve ourselves. 
• Let reality be reality, and not add on. That tension in our system is where the suffering comes from. 
• Three levels to explore
• Unpleasant but tolerable
• Core practice, recognize and allowing
• Be direct, without the add on, "how is this experience right now inside me?"
• Allowing is "how can we let it be?"
• When bringing it an interest (not calling it "pain" which locks it in conceptually) there is an investigation of these sensations. 
• What is it like? How does it change?
• Non reactive presence.
• May not be pleasant, but it is fine. Allowing things to happen. 
• Edgy and challenging, not fun
• It is too much
• Practice: Bringing R.A.I.N to Pain
• Scan your body with awareness, mild or moderate discomfort in your body
• Sense unpleasant, hover attention there. Recognize.
• Then allow, giving it space to be just as it is. Noticing if there is an attitude of not allowing, having the intention at least to let things be as they are. 
• Now with some interest and gentle attention, be curious about these sensations. 
• you might sense the center
• or the outer, and sink deeply as you go
• Be curious and sense, what is it really like?
• throbbing, aching, hot, cool ?
• how does it move or change?
• does it get more intense? 
• does it spread? 
• does it get heavier, lighter?
• Notice emotions around sensations
• fear, tension,
• Include in mindfulness, let everything be and float. 
• Bring a quality of kindness to that investigation. Nourish. 
• Free us to simply be, and let the sensations move as they are. 
• Let the sensations be unpleasant but not suffering. 
• Rest in awareness
• Notice the difference between feeling like a self being oppressed by pain and this awareness that is noticing this weather system that is moving through. 
• Notice the difference and rest. 

My Notes:

As always, I really appreciate this course and how a lot of the information and tactics are based on studies and science. 

Rushing forward is something I am very familiar with, I've identified many times before. I want to say not until sometime this past October did I finally realize how much it has affected me with my relationships in my life. I knew, but I wasn't doing anything about it. Had to really feel my heart shatter to come back. Just glad I feel awake and aware now. I was numbing myself constantly and living in fear and anxiety. 

I've heard of Joshua Bell playing in a metro station, it is so crazy how few people could wait and listen. The mass of people were rushing to work, etc.. when there is a world famous violinist there performing of the the coolest Bach pieces that exist. 

Lost in the shadows, that was me for far too long. I still am time to time. I don't want to lose this sense of questioning my thoughts, I can't believe them. Recognize and investigate, 24/7. 

I'm in love with these teachings. I'm in love with Tara and the Buddha :p 

We are totally conditioned and habituated to leave our bodies and dissociate. Body is the portal. I have to remind myself of this more frequently, I always opt to avoid what my body is telling me - distractions are not helpful. Not for me anyway, not in the way I choose them. Just prolonging the suffering and avoiding the work and the attention my body needs. It sounds so lazy, but I must not call it that. That is judging, and not something kind to say to myself. It is true we do not get anywhere by being judgmental to ourselves, or others. "Shallows" in here, is basically shallow. No concreteness, no depth, sheer and not something we can lean on. The importance of putting the pieces together hits home for me. I've avoided this and have expected others to do it, and some have helped I guess but it doesn't really mean a whole lot if I'm not doing it myself. I get it now. After all this time, and all that has had to happen to "get it." Just was so lost about so much, it makes sense to me now. Overwhelmed or not, avoiding things, adds up and the price to pay is not a bill that can be handled in one form of quick payment. It is taking time, and will take effort indefinitely - we are universally and culturally conditioned, thats tough. It is possible though, through awareness. 

Dissociation has major consequences. Scares me a bit to imagine not ever being able to make that connection and seeing where my life would end up if I continued a body mind split. The D.H. Lawerence quote is so good, this was written around the time post WWI. We must replant ourselves in the universe. Tara mentioned that imagery of "uprooted" and "roots in the air" and thinking about it, is us now as a nation and me dealing with my life and the breakup that had my world entirely turn upside down again. I understand this feeling far too well. Working on grounding, and planting myself back into the universe. I belong. There is no reason to continue living in fear, I'm not alone. 

I loved the quote Tara picked up from the surfer. Can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf! Totally relative to "the ocean" and the waves that occur in our lives in this vast ocean of  belonging with one another. Pain and resistance is suffering. Pain is inevitable, the choice to resist determines how much more one will suffer. It is like the second arrow. 

I love the references to the networking of the brain. I had no idea, and maybe learned this in school and forgot (ha), that the emotional and physical have overlapping neuro regions in the brain. Explains a lot especially in this "chapter" of this course. We really do need to listen to our bodies, and not listen to the chatter in our thoughts. Controlling the mind is tough, but possible. Some control better then none. 

Stop the war. Stop the war with pain, serve with attitude. 

I love the practice. I like to sit with it, but also take notes on it while listening. That way I have outlined ways to practice this when I am not listening but going about my daily life. 

Scan, let it be, be curious, and be kind. Recognize, allow, investigate, and nourish. 

Hope this is helpful for someone out there one day.