Bodhichitta, The Heart/Mind of Love (AHCW)

Bodhichitta, The Heart/Mind of Love

• Evolutionary Capacity 
• Bodhichitta - awakening heart mind
• It is about all flavors of love
• falling away from sense of a separateness 
• belonging to this field of aliveness
• Bodisattva represents our evolutionary capacity. 
• In most recent evolutionary part of our brain is about social relating 
• survival and flourishing depends on this part of our brain
• Greatest medical advances
• Makes sport teams successful
• Students learn the best cooperatively
• Natural disasters, helps us figure it out
• Move toward peace, reconcile and cooperate
• Our Greatest Resources
• This physiology part of our brain is where we are evolving toward (Bodhichitta).
• not just humans, but other creatures as well. 
• Being part of a team, togetherness
• serves as a group
• but also to each of us
• sense of belonging to something larger (one of the main characteristics of happiness).
• Bonding in smaller groups, led to the "unreal other" "enemy".
• reassuring is that you can sense the circles are widening who we consider to be part of us.
• this networking part of our brain, is more then our families, but all species and all of life. 
• the feeling is enlarging. 
• Belonging With All of Life
• This region of the brain, and the spirit of Bodhichitta
• when activated/enlivened: brings healing
• when disconnected/shut down: responsible for trouble we have on this planet.
• Heart space that is inclusive
• "Everything that is, is welcome"
• Identified as a separate solid self, to a sense of identity that is inclusive. That experiences belonging, life, and awareness. 
• Instead of fight, flight, freeze it is attend and befriend. 
• Be Bodhisattva to live from Bodhichitta 
• "I live my life is widening circles that reach out across the world. I may never be able to complete this last one, but I give myself to it."
• dedication to not push anything out of our hearts. Without exception.
• Discovering Love and Awareness Amidst Discomfort 
• How do these widening circles work?
• first circle is the one that is right here
• we have to keep coming back to what is right here
• Every day there is a challenge with the survival brain and that trance (then that reactivity... we get triggered so easily, we all get hooked).
• Notice how that trance happens in a daily way, is the way to honestly awakening Bodhichitta. 
• "It was the coldest winter ever. So cold, that many animals froze to death. In an effort to save themselves from this icy fate, the porcupines decided to gather together to fend off the chill. They huddled close to each other. Covered and protected from the elements, and warm by their collective body heat. But their prickly quills proved to be a problem in close proximity. They poked and stabbed each other wounding their closest companions. The warmth was wonderful, but the mutual needling became increasingly uncomfortable. Eventually, the began to distance themselves from one another and scatter themselves in the forest to end up along and frozen. Many died. It would soon become clear they would have to choose between solitary death in the frigid wilderness or the discomfort of being needled by their companions quill when they banded together. Wisely, they decided to return to the huddle. They learned to live with the little wounds caused by the relationships with their fellows in order to benefit from the collective heat. They generated as a group. In this way they were able to survive."
• Not just to survive, but no way to really wake up unless we are able to hang in with each other. 
• The real freedom comes in realizing in that we are not "this story"
• We can discover this when we hang in where the vulnerability comes up with each other. And in that hanging in, discover the love and awareness that shines through all of us. We need to wake up that way. 
• In Seeing How we Separate, Remember It's Not Our Fault
• Recognize, like the porcupines we want to say "hey, I'm leaving"
• Or we fight, blame, or withdraw - need to be able to see how that happens. 
• As we start looking closely and honestly, ask "how do I create separation?"
• Key attitude, is being interested and not judging ourselves or going into a reactive trance. 
• The process is not useful if there is judgement, the judgement is also part of the trance. 
• Every one of us is rigged to perceive separation, for time periods in our life we really identify with the separate egoic self. 
• We are in our bubbles for a certain amount of time, to the degree of culture where there isn't healthy mirroring of who we are. We are not seen, or understood, or loved. 
• That rigidity, that holding on to separateness becomes more extreme
• all the behaviors that circle around it, also become more extreme. Because we have unmet needs. 
• That is trance reactivity, it is not our fault.
• How do I triggered?
• some of us, in a traumatic way, push others away or fight
• some of us more, more subtle
• all of us - it is not our fault
• Knowing that it is not our fault, helps us notice when it is happening and have more choice. 

• Everyday Wars We Disconnect from Love
• We get attached, when we start grasping after things. 
• leaning forward, and trying to get approval.. a trying to get
• when there is a drive, a kind of ambition
• our aperture narrows, and we are not able to see others in a way that has empathy, compassion, understanding. Because the self centeredness is stronger. In grasping mode. 
• We go into self justifications, our own little reality.
• Aversion, afraid of failure or loss
• a squeeze of something is wrong, living in that anxiety aperture narrows. 
• speeding, the sense of "not enough time"
• Good Samaritan Study (Princeton), based on how much time the had in order to help
• The sense of "there is not enough time" shuts down our heart. 
• Judgement
• Vow of the Awakening Heart
• These domains of stress, are fear based. 
• When hooked by fear, in the trance of fear, we forget our belonging. The thing we cherish most, the connectedness. Cut's off potential. 
• Because the conditioning is so strong, it takes a lot of intention to wake up during the day
• to recognize fight, flight, freeze or grasping
• and then shift to attending and befriending
• Bodhisattva vow: "May what ever is arising awaken this heart and mind" helps cultivate a sense of awakeness, where one can notice being in trance. 
• "Regardless of what arise, whatever circumstances arise, may that serve the awakening of compassion and wisdom."
• get in a fight, then ask "how might this serve our hearts waking up?"
• one feels judgmental, "How might my judgement serve?"
• A good vow for background of life, awaken us from trance
• Practice: In the Prickles, Offering Our Heart's Vow
• Think of a relationship that is important to you, that has the natural triggers and prickliness
• where you want to work on getting closer
• natural arising of hurt, or guilt, or insecurity, or resentment, or anger, or judgement.
• Let your attention focus on a particular area where you get triggered
• what is the area that feels the most strong and compelling to catapult you into trance most easily?
• Connect with whats difficult about it, a place that feels vulnerable. 
• Now, reflect on the Bodhisattva aspiration or bow.
• "May these various circumstance, these feelings that are arising, may they serve the awakening of heart and mind. Of compassion, of wisdom, may this serve Bodhichitta."
• Let it be a sincere wish from your heart, so that what is going on, may help to wake you up. 
• Mentally whisper, please may this serve and teach me and awaken my heart. 
• It is more important to heal and connect and wake up, then be right. 
• How might this serve the awakening of Bodhichitta of my heart?
• Take a few full breaths. 

My Notes:

The awakening heart and mind. I want to awaken my heart and mind. I guess by contemplating it, I am awakening. 

Our evolutionary capacity has so much potential. Love the examples of how people come together after natural disasters, etc. We are so capable. Just need to pause and remember this before taking off with the triggers. "How may this serve me?"

Inclusive heart space. That belonging in all of life, is so key.  Enlarging our circles, inclusive heart space. I love that. 

"Everything that is, is welcome"

This open heart space does bring healing, it feels so good. The disconnect causes harm and hurt, it is not what we truly believe and feel. It is that ego being kind of a jerk again. 
Trying not to push anything out of our hearts - making it a dedication to not to, I will try my best. 

It is not our fault. Fight, blame, withdraw and subtly. No judgement. - This is hard. For me. I get upset with myself, and get really hard on myself about my mistakes and things I do that I regret later. The urge, is not my fault, the practice of pausing is my ticket. Can't go anywhere without being kind about my mistakes, and others. No judgement. 

Ways we disconnect from love. I am far too familiar with this. Aren't we all to some degree? I am learning what I don't want to do. We grasp or avert. There is self justification. And there is shutting down. I've been there for both. I wonder, but don't want to get upset about past events (all that matters now, is NOW) - what might've been different where I could've paused and stepped back before letting my reactivity get the best of me? What better place to start learning then the present. 

I LOVE the vow of the awakening heart. I want to apply to everyone and all situations that may come. The reminder, will be tough, but maybe the more I do it it will in time become a "go to" type of way of dealing with things. I also, like Tara, want this on my wedding vows one day. 

How might this uncomfortable feeling serve? Practicing with loved ones and other relationships where there is a natural "prickliness," I've got a few. :) Again, don't we all. I'm trying really hard to move away from the "this is unfair" "victim" state that I've been fighting. It is the self grasping part of me, feeling like I've lost and have failed in more ways then one. But, it is not true. I'm trying to believe that. It is not true. How may these hurtful and painful events in the last few years that have conspired in my personal life serve me? How are they to serve me?

Maybe I should've been asking that question sooner! Better then never. It does hurt to really feel all that instead of shut down or fight, or avert to distractions. 

It is worth it though. Like relationships are. They ain't easy, but they are worth it. 

"It takes courage to endure the sharp pains of self discovery, rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives."