Faith and Embracing Emotions
This morning I woke up, did my routine and read my Daily Om by for the day. Today's message hit the spot with something I've been struggling with. Trusting others and having faith in them. I think to some degree we all deal with this, my approach has been one of two ways: I either disregard or avoid the person and the other is lashing out when someone "disappointed" me. These weren't my ways, all the time, but there have been patterns.
We need to trust those in our lives care and will be supportive. First and foremost, you have to care and support (and LOVE) yourself - but family, friends, partners.. they are not out to hurt you or disappoint you. Not intentionally anyway. I know I've been hurtful, but it came from that insecure part of myself, lashing out because I assumed they wanted to wrong me. So that insecurity: love yourself first. Have faith in others. Be open, compassionate, and kind when someone does make a mistake. You would want the same right?
The other thing I read this morning that provided my daily self-nourishment and contemplation is this article I read on Tiny Buddha. It is by Sandra Cooper, and she talks about how she (and we) avoid our feelings and when we can endure them and let them flow through us, we become free. This woman went through a lot, and I know we all have our past and our traumas we are facing. Like Tara Brach mentions to in her teachings, we have to let the "waves" come and go, resisting them later on will lead to conflicts and narrowing possibilities to having fulfilling relationships with ourselves and with others. I'm learning about this so much. These patterns, these events as a child (as an adult too), and just learning to let them be but also not identify with them. I think it was Tara that gave this comparison on a talk. Don't remember it exactly. Something like: A little kid gets hurt somehow by another child, I think he gets a cut. The child who hurt him asks for his forgiveness, and he says "no. I can't forgive you. My wound hurts." The other child asks "Can you forgive me when the wound heals?" Then he says, "Yes, when it heals I think can."
We have to feel that pain before we can move on and be free from it. We can't avoid it constantly, it will follow us and later cause more suffering. The examples Sandra put are so good, these can all be distractions from listening to what you really want. We are not meeting our needs when we do this, whether a book, being busy, drinking, working long hours.. if you're having a hard time, these things won't solve that. I can relate to this all too well. But there is hope! Time to sit with the uncomfortable stuff, not listen to the thoughts and let go.
My big one is "am I unlovable? Look at the proof all my life" I can't listen to that anymore, it is unnecessary suffering. Trying very hard to see what I DO have, and what blessings I am surrounded by. The bad things that have happened are not who I am, they are just things that happened. Nothing more. Yes they caused pain, but trying my best to enduring the pain, and witness what is going on rather then be stuck in it. Looking into now, seeing clearly (or clearer, ha), and moving along throughout my day with a sense of noticing and kindness. Self, and to all sentients.
We need to trust those in our lives care and will be supportive. First and foremost, you have to care and support (and LOVE) yourself - but family, friends, partners.. they are not out to hurt you or disappoint you. Not intentionally anyway. I know I've been hurtful, but it came from that insecure part of myself, lashing out because I assumed they wanted to wrong me. So that insecurity: love yourself first. Have faith in others. Be open, compassionate, and kind when someone does make a mistake. You would want the same right?
The other thing I read this morning that provided my daily self-nourishment and contemplation is this article I read on Tiny Buddha. It is by Sandra Cooper, and she talks about how she (and we) avoid our feelings and when we can endure them and let them flow through us, we become free. This woman went through a lot, and I know we all have our past and our traumas we are facing. Like Tara Brach mentions to in her teachings, we have to let the "waves" come and go, resisting them later on will lead to conflicts and narrowing possibilities to having fulfilling relationships with ourselves and with others. I'm learning about this so much. These patterns, these events as a child (as an adult too), and just learning to let them be but also not identify with them. I think it was Tara that gave this comparison on a talk. Don't remember it exactly. Something like: A little kid gets hurt somehow by another child, I think he gets a cut. The child who hurt him asks for his forgiveness, and he says "no. I can't forgive you. My wound hurts." The other child asks "Can you forgive me when the wound heals?" Then he says, "Yes, when it heals I think can."
We have to feel that pain before we can move on and be free from it. We can't avoid it constantly, it will follow us and later cause more suffering. The examples Sandra put are so good, these can all be distractions from listening to what you really want. We are not meeting our needs when we do this, whether a book, being busy, drinking, working long hours.. if you're having a hard time, these things won't solve that. I can relate to this all too well. But there is hope! Time to sit with the uncomfortable stuff, not listen to the thoughts and let go.
My big one is "am I unlovable? Look at the proof all my life" I can't listen to that anymore, it is unnecessary suffering. Trying very hard to see what I DO have, and what blessings I am surrounded by. The bad things that have happened are not who I am, they are just things that happened. Nothing more. Yes they caused pain, but trying my best to enduring the pain, and witness what is going on rather then be stuck in it. Looking into now, seeing clearly (or clearer, ha), and moving along throughout my day with a sense of noticing and kindness. Self, and to all sentients.
"The heart is like a garden. It can grow seeds of compassion, or fear, resentment, or love. What seeds will you plant there?"
-Buddha
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