Self Centeredness
Went to meditation class today. Been going to the "Overcoming Stress" one, and decided to give the "Love Without Pain" one a try today.
It was really good. The resident teacher is great! She is pretty funny too. Her teaching style was to the point and easy to relate to.
Tonight we talked about different types of "minds" we can choose from. A mind of patience, of anger, of grace, of jealousy, and of good will.
We talked about pausing and identifying what we are feeling and thinking. Being able to take some space before giving in to whatever we do not ultimately want to say or do.
What I love so much about these Buddhist teachings are the constant reminder that we are inherently good, that we all are.
She really opened my mind to reevaluating my intentions. I've acted jealous, and angry and never thought about it being a trigger from other things in the past nor acting as a trail of bread crumbs to something deeper I'm not taking enough time (or space) to look into.
Spoke about karma. She asked us if we ever felt like things we couldn't explain were happening, like "why is this happening to me?" She talked about putting out bad karma and it coming back. Not just by actions, but by thoughts too.
Childishness was another part of the class. Acting like adults but also acting like children, this is where she first talks about self centeredness.
Did a few meditations, on the breath. Inhaling this "light" and exhaling is the releasing of the "smoke" symbolizing darkness and delusions.
Delusions, in Buddhism, are the tempting thoughts and feelings that pull you away from the inherently good person you are.
What I really got out of this is how self centered I've been, and still am. We all are to some degree. I want to choose my actions and my words from a deep deep place, the part of me I know means well and wants to serve and love others.
Reminds me of that Gandhi, he meditated and prayed all day once a week in order to be able to live his life and make choices from the most awakened deep part of himself. I'm not sure I can do that, but I'd like to commit to this in some way. The classes are helpful, studying Tara's talks helps, and blogging about my experience too.
I want to continue this practicing of pausing. What is difficult for me is knowing when to pause? Maybe it would be best for me to just take my time more often. Been trying to give myself bigger spaces of time to be where I need to be, and if I'm late treating it without judgement. It has been helping, but after having so much anxiety for over a year, I know its going to be a long process and a practice from moment to moment. I feel like I need to question my reactions, not my goodness, but the quick reactive almost reflexive part of me. That needs to be questioned.
Recognize, and over time remove these patterns. Practice, it is a practice! No matter what hardships come throughout life, just gotta keep practicing. I wish I knew this sooner, but like I always say "better now then never."
There is no break from it. Keep practicing. We want to practice happily and eager to learn, with an open mind and heart. Who doesn't love to learn?
It was really good. The resident teacher is great! She is pretty funny too. Her teaching style was to the point and easy to relate to.
Tonight we talked about different types of "minds" we can choose from. A mind of patience, of anger, of grace, of jealousy, and of good will.
We talked about pausing and identifying what we are feeling and thinking. Being able to take some space before giving in to whatever we do not ultimately want to say or do.
What I love so much about these Buddhist teachings are the constant reminder that we are inherently good, that we all are.
She really opened my mind to reevaluating my intentions. I've acted jealous, and angry and never thought about it being a trigger from other things in the past nor acting as a trail of bread crumbs to something deeper I'm not taking enough time (or space) to look into.
Spoke about karma. She asked us if we ever felt like things we couldn't explain were happening, like "why is this happening to me?" She talked about putting out bad karma and it coming back. Not just by actions, but by thoughts too.
Childishness was another part of the class. Acting like adults but also acting like children, this is where she first talks about self centeredness.
Did a few meditations, on the breath. Inhaling this "light" and exhaling is the releasing of the "smoke" symbolizing darkness and delusions.
Delusions, in Buddhism, are the tempting thoughts and feelings that pull you away from the inherently good person you are.
What I really got out of this is how self centered I've been, and still am. We all are to some degree. I want to choose my actions and my words from a deep deep place, the part of me I know means well and wants to serve and love others.
Reminds me of that Gandhi, he meditated and prayed all day once a week in order to be able to live his life and make choices from the most awakened deep part of himself. I'm not sure I can do that, but I'd like to commit to this in some way. The classes are helpful, studying Tara's talks helps, and blogging about my experience too.
I want to continue this practicing of pausing. What is difficult for me is knowing when to pause? Maybe it would be best for me to just take my time more often. Been trying to give myself bigger spaces of time to be where I need to be, and if I'm late treating it without judgement. It has been helping, but after having so much anxiety for over a year, I know its going to be a long process and a practice from moment to moment. I feel like I need to question my reactions, not my goodness, but the quick reactive almost reflexive part of me. That needs to be questioned.
Recognize, and over time remove these patterns. Practice, it is a practice! No matter what hardships come throughout life, just gotta keep practicing. I wish I knew this sooner, but like I always say "better now then never."
There is no break from it. Keep practicing. We want to practice happily and eager to learn, with an open mind and heart. Who doesn't love to learn?
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