what is, is welcome.. what is, belongs
No matter what. It's fine. It is ok.
In the morning today I was at my parents house.
My mom was out of town but my dad and brothers were there. In the morning my dad wanted me to take him to his sisters house. I said that was fine I would just have to leave sooner because of my schedule. I told him if he knew if she would be there or not. He said no. So I lent him my cellphone and dialed her number. He called and talked to her. She wasn't going to be home. She offered to pick him up when she could.
As soon as the phone call ended, I said something like "good thing we double checked." My dad then says nervously.. I look at him and his hazel eyes are filled with tears.. "I don't remember your name." I was shocked and hurt and went straight to hugging and holding him. He felt so bad, and as hurt as I was, I wanted to be there for him. I rubbed his back with my right hand. I told him it's ok, it's hard and I know it's so hard right now. He says, now crying "I don't remember anything anymore." My heavy heart.
I think, I am so sorry you're suffering Daddy. I try to hold it together and grab a notepad and pen and I said "it's ok. Your brain is working really hard right now. It is ok, let's make it easier. Let's write it down." I wrote down my name and my brothers names and who we are. I didn't know what to make of it. I just want to be with him. I also want some space to digest, maybe he doesn't know who I really am. What is the right thing to do?
Maybe he does know. I'm your daughter dad.
He was sad. I don't remember when I have ever seen tears in the eyes of my dad. I really don't know.
My mom was out of town but my dad and brothers were there. In the morning my dad wanted me to take him to his sisters house. I said that was fine I would just have to leave sooner because of my schedule. I told him if he knew if she would be there or not. He said no. So I lent him my cellphone and dialed her number. He called and talked to her. She wasn't going to be home. She offered to pick him up when she could.
As soon as the phone call ended, I said something like "good thing we double checked." My dad then says nervously.. I look at him and his hazel eyes are filled with tears.. "I don't remember your name." I was shocked and hurt and went straight to hugging and holding him. He felt so bad, and as hurt as I was, I wanted to be there for him. I rubbed his back with my right hand. I told him it's ok, it's hard and I know it's so hard right now. He says, now crying "I don't remember anything anymore." My heavy heart.
I think, I am so sorry you're suffering Daddy. I try to hold it together and grab a notepad and pen and I said "it's ok. Your brain is working really hard right now. It is ok, let's make it easier. Let's write it down." I wrote down my name and my brothers names and who we are. I didn't know what to make of it. I just want to be with him. I also want some space to digest, maybe he doesn't know who I really am. What is the right thing to do?
Maybe he does know. I'm your daughter dad.
He was sad. I don't remember when I have ever seen tears in the eyes of my dad. I really don't know.
What a moment, a moment of impermanence. A lesson I've been learning, and got to experience first hand. I've experienced a lot of relationships with people change recently in my life, I got some experience.
But with my dad. Again.. my heart. My heart drops. It sinks. Hits bottom.
But with my dad. Again.. my heart. My heart drops. It sinks. Hits bottom.
Isolation and emptiness. The red flag. The reminder to come back to be present, to tune in and to love fully.
My Daddy.
I didn't ask if he remembered me or who I was. I was trembling. I was trying trying so much to be strong. He felt so bad and I am in some ways more stable and healthier than he is, I wanted and needed to be grounded. For him. For us. I had to help and be there for him. At 29 years old, I had to step it up and be who I needed to be then and there.
Where were you at 29? All of this when it happens to us is so unpredictable. Prepare by being present, now. I wish I figured and understood this sooner.
My Daddy.
I didn't ask if he remembered me or who I was. I was trembling. I was trying trying so much to be strong. He felt so bad and I am in some ways more stable and healthier than he is, I wanted and needed to be grounded. For him. For us. I had to help and be there for him. At 29 years old, I had to step it up and be who I needed to be then and there.
Where were you at 29? All of this when it happens to us is so unpredictable. Prepare by being present, now. I wish I figured and understood this sooner.
Life is tough. It is impermanent. Been using that word, A LOT. To me, this is the first and most important lesson any living being should learn is this. When we understand this we love fully now. We appreciate others now. We drop what doesn't serve us or anyone immediately. Maybe it is my karma that thinks this... when we know how precious each moment is, something I have not realized until it is too late with loved ones, we live and love fully. Appreciate every moment.
When we don't expect them, they go and they are gone. Their spirit lives on and their imprints on our hearts will remain.
When we don't expect them, they go and they are gone. Their spirit lives on and their imprints on our hearts will remain.
Let's love. Love abundantly always.
We must love fully. Cherish others.
Be present. Moment by moment.
By Achaan Chah
We must love fully. Cherish others.
Be present. Moment by moment.
By Achaan Chah
"He motioned to a glass sitting to one side of him. 'Do you see this glass?' he asked us. 'I love this glass. It holds water admirably. When the sun shines on it, it reflects the light beautifully. When I tap it, it has a lovely ring. Yet for me, this glass is already broken. When the wind knocks it over or my elbow knocks it off the shelf and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, ‘Of course’. But when I understand that this glass is already broken, every minute with it is precious.' "
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