Seeking What's True (Part II)
Seeking What's True (Part II)
Again, listening to Tara Brach. Taking notes in my words, and some exactly in hers. Studying and learning. Everything is so good. These are going to be staples in my listening, studying, and applying. A practice.
https://www.tarabrach.com/seeking-whats-true-pt2/
Part 2
Review of Part 1, and radical self honesty. Becoming aware of whats unconscious and included in awareness, we are freed up to live a more full and alive quality of being.
In this lesson, we will be deepening that inquiry and looking at the most fundamental illusion we live with. It keeps us from the truth of who we are. Its the perception that we are separate. "I am a separate egoic self, the world is out here and I'm in here."
We will be looking at the inquiry that all spiritual traditions have, "who am I?" "who am I really?"
This isn't the most relevant and useful inquiry for everybody at all times.
There is times where we need to focus on bringing in some kindness, self compassion, and clarity to that.
When things quiet down a bit, we ask that core question of "who am I?"
There is a kind of attitude that supports us in this, to kind of go with a light touch.
Light touch: interest, curiosity, humor, kindness, a gentle inquiry.
Deepen our attention to our belonging to the galaxy. That the star and the light thats really at the source of our being and animates our heart.
We really want to know the truth of who we are.
The only place that we can experience the truth and freedom of who we are, is this moment. Right here. In this very heart mind.
Any notion that you are waiting for something, that it is outside of you, that you have to learn something more - it is right here.
Idea that it is even a few minutes away, is the fundamental interference (it keeps us in the sense of self that tries to get us somewhere), we stay land locked.
The core perception then, the cause of suffering, is this sense of that who I am is this self (story of self) - the core narrative is that self is that in any moment of time there is something missing that is not here ("I'm on my way"). Next moment will give me what this moment does not have. "Leaning forward." The other side is, there is something wrong. With life, with me, or someone else. What leads to is sense of I need to do something, I need to do more to be ok.
The stronger the feelings are that something is missing or something is wrong.. the more solid and tense and tight the self gets. This is the trance.
If we are looking for what is stops us from knowing who we are. It is a fundamental sense of "I'm separate" "something's wrong" "I need to do something about it."
"Why are you unhappy?"
"Because 99.9% of everything you do is for yourself, and there isn't one."
The Buddha.
The truth of who we are, we are never a part from that oneness.
I.e. waves in an ocean. Waves are made of an ocean. There are waves, honor them, but do not forget this oceanness. This belonging, not far away.
What makes it so important to remember the ocean?
If we think ourselves just as waves. We will forget what is timeless, formless, and forget the true sense of loving belonging.
If you intuit that formless mystery.. it gives space for the changing life thats here.
You can then respond to what comes. Not tensing with what comes in the future, you can live it.
Two primary path ways to come to come to that remembrance of who we are beyond the small self.
A language in terms of ocean and waves, one way is to deepen our attention to the waves. Really open our attention to what is going on in the moment, discover the oceanness, and sense something larger to who we are. The other path way is to directly turn our attention to the quality of awareness itself.
We start with the waves, and the main waves that keep sustaining this perception of "I'm here" "I'm separate" and "something's wrong" is this narration in our brain. We are addicted to thought. And so we keep telling ourselves "what's wrong?" Which creates a biochemistry of worry and anxiety, and then turns more thoughts.
"We maintain our world with our inner dialogue. A man or woman of knowledge is aware that the world will change completely as soon as they stop talking to themselves."
Recognize the waves of thinking, these are thoughts, but not have to be lost in them.
Primary flag of trance and being stuck in obsessive thinking. Its a survival tool of the ego, and always goes over board.
Out a sight, out of mind.
Our emotions if left to their own devices, 1.5 minutes they come (aggrated, aggressive, whatever) they get fueled by our obsessive thinking. We keep our resentments going by remembering what this person did wrong to us, or our fears are going to making mistakes.
Whatever it is, we keep it going.
Key element of practice, is to recognize the ways of thoughts.
Keep asking yourself "am I dreaming right now?"
("I'm inside that movie right now")
I am not my thoughts.
These are waves, they are part of my ocean of being but they do not define me. My thoughts do not define me. They are real but they are not true.
Real but not true.
The content isn't truth.
Yet, so easy to take these waves (these virtual reality) that it is the real thing.
Black Lab story - LOL
The training is to begin to sense the waves of thoughts, and the gaps between the waves - thats when the light of awareness begins to shine through.
The training is to be quiet, and don't believe your mind. And don't believe your mind. And don't believe your mind.
The challenge is when there is sticky thoughts. When the waves are recurrent and really powerful. This is what we will call core beliefs.
Our beliefs affect so much of our experience.
Your beliefs creates your thoughts and the feelings. That creates your words. Then your actions. Then your destiny.
So when we have this recurrent waves of beliefs that comes through and don't remember that we are bigger then them, they are real but not true, we get caught in them. They keep in motion this sense of this small, limited, deficient self. We need to challenge them.
Deepen your attention to those waves. Feeling small, rejectable, and separate.
RAIN
Allow, the set of waves, offer attention and investigate.
R is recognize, A is allow, I is investigate.
We begin to ask questions. And the end of RAIN, N is nourish. Kindness.
(Example that I can totally relate to 25:03. The "ouch moment" believing that belief. So much suffering. "What do you wish for yourself right now?" Trust, believe, and feel lovable.
"It's ok sweetheart."
"Who would you be if you no longer believed you were unloveable?")
Deepen your attention to the wave, and then touching more into an ocean sense. Allows you to name. And have an opportunity for intimacy.
Where did I get emotionally stuck and reactive? Where I am some way down in myself.
What am I believing? What am I believing about myself?
Is it that I'm always going to fail, or that I'm unloveable, or that something is wrong with me? That I'll never be the person I want to be? That I'm not forgivable? That something is not acceptable about me?
Core beliefs, waves of the ocean I am getting stuck in.
Is it possible this belief is possible? I'm experiencing it but it is not true. Is it possible?
What is like when I'm believing this, and its full blown, and I'm really inside the wave, being tossed in the wave, really buying it? What goes on in my body and in my heart? Whats the feeling?
Opening to the waves, and feelings int he body. Hurt, fear, shame.. what goes with that belief? How has living with this belief affected my life? How has it kept me from doing? How has it kept me from intimacy and enjoyment? How has it kept me from letting in or expressing love? Or creativity? Aliveness?
Bring that nurturing in. Put your hand on your heart. Sense the part of that has been believing in this needs in this moment. No matter how you been doing this so far, you can always start in this moment by asking "what does the vulnerability of me in this moment need?"
Let in some care, holding with care, you are the compassionate presence that is holding me with care.
Who would I be if I didn't believe in that limiting belief anymore? Who would I be?
Feel that shift from that stuck self, to something more vast and mysterious and free.
What would my life be life if I didn't live with that belief anymore?
Take breaths, and feel what is going on inside of you. Revisit this when you have more time, bringing in these qualities of attention of clarity and kindness. These waves we have been stuck inside.
This pathway - look more deeply, there is more to this being, this vast ocean. Larger then that particular wave.
The other approach - begin to use that awareness and look into this mystery. Instead of the objects, or the forms, or the feelings.. really look into that vastness.
Story catapults into "don't know mind" where we think we know what it is all about, but this world is so vast and mysterious. What is love? What happens after we are here?
We are connected to something larger.
When with the dying, and when we face our own mortality. What is it that we don't want to forget? This longing is.. that we belong to something larger. This isn't in it, this little world of our thoughts, our fears, and our wants. There is a tremendous refuge of truth in that. Allows us to hold this world more lightly, but also cherish it. We are not grasping it to be a certain way and scared its going to go away, we develop more a fearless heart.
There are several pathways of training to have this remembrance.
The nature of awareness can be scary, or disorienting - takes away the ground that we are feeling, experiment with this. A "light touch." An embodied open way.
Guided Practice.
15 sec meditation, close your eyes and try not to be aware.
Close your eyes again, meditation for 5-6 minutes.
Sitting posture, full breaths - let the breaths gather your attention. If you can for another moment try not to be aware. Quickly notice that awareness is always here. We may not be aware of the awareness, but it is always here. The on going registering of sound, and sensations, and feelings. Let that awareness thats here be relocated. Imagine, it is in front of you and up a bit. Like a stage light. Your awareness looking down on this body and mind. Bearing witness, perceiving. Be aware of the body and sensations that is here, in what you call "you." Awareness is beaming down, picking up the thoughts that are in the background, and the feelings in your body. The sense of sitting here. Beaming awareness is surrounding you, an seeping inside. That awareness is outside and inside, aware from the inside out. Interior space of awareness, feeling sensations. Exterior, hearing sounds. Continuous field of sensations. The stillness that is perceiving aliveness and vibration. Awareness of the silence that is listening. The formless, and openness. That sounds and sensations are occurring in. Relaxing back - being that field of continuous awareness. Listening to and feeling of changing and movement of waves. You might inquire.. who is listening? Who is hearing these words? Turn the attention back, gently. What is aware? What is awareness? Then, just let go. Just be that awareness. That silence that is listening. Empty awake space. If a thought comes up, who is thinking? Turn the attention back to awareness. Who or what is aware? Just let go again.
"When I look into my mind, I see I am nothing. When I look into my heart, I see I am everything. Between the two, my life flows."
Sense in the heart space, the awareness of the level of the heart that cherishes the waves. Receiving everything that is arising in this heart space. You might bring to mind, a dear one. Let the image and sense of a dear one come to mind. Sense how this dear one is received in this open hearted awareness. This dear one floats. Is included. Is a part of your heart. Perhaps let another person arise in awareness. Sensing how this heart space holds this being. Awake. Open. Inclusive. Tender, intrinsically tender.
True homecoming is to the awake awareness. This open heartedness that your deepest nature. You are not a human awakening to spirit. You are spirit awareness awakening through this body mind. The truth you are seeking is already here.
"When I look into my mind, I see I am nothing. When I look into my heart, I see that I am everything. Between the two, my life flows."
Again, listening to Tara Brach. Taking notes in my words, and some exactly in hers. Studying and learning. Everything is so good. These are going to be staples in my listening, studying, and applying. A practice.
https://www.tarabrach.com/seeking-whats-true-pt2/
Part 2
Review of Part 1, and radical self honesty. Becoming aware of whats unconscious and included in awareness, we are freed up to live a more full and alive quality of being.
In this lesson, we will be deepening that inquiry and looking at the most fundamental illusion we live with. It keeps us from the truth of who we are. Its the perception that we are separate. "I am a separate egoic self, the world is out here and I'm in here."
We will be looking at the inquiry that all spiritual traditions have, "who am I?" "who am I really?"
This isn't the most relevant and useful inquiry for everybody at all times.
There is times where we need to focus on bringing in some kindness, self compassion, and clarity to that.
When things quiet down a bit, we ask that core question of "who am I?"
There is a kind of attitude that supports us in this, to kind of go with a light touch.
Light touch: interest, curiosity, humor, kindness, a gentle inquiry.
Deepen our attention to our belonging to the galaxy. That the star and the light thats really at the source of our being and animates our heart.
We really want to know the truth of who we are.
The only place that we can experience the truth and freedom of who we are, is this moment. Right here. In this very heart mind.
Any notion that you are waiting for something, that it is outside of you, that you have to learn something more - it is right here.
Idea that it is even a few minutes away, is the fundamental interference (it keeps us in the sense of self that tries to get us somewhere), we stay land locked.
The core perception then, the cause of suffering, is this sense of that who I am is this self (story of self) - the core narrative is that self is that in any moment of time there is something missing that is not here ("I'm on my way"). Next moment will give me what this moment does not have. "Leaning forward." The other side is, there is something wrong. With life, with me, or someone else. What leads to is sense of I need to do something, I need to do more to be ok.
The stronger the feelings are that something is missing or something is wrong.. the more solid and tense and tight the self gets. This is the trance.
If we are looking for what is stops us from knowing who we are. It is a fundamental sense of "I'm separate" "something's wrong" "I need to do something about it."
"Why are you unhappy?"
"Because 99.9% of everything you do is for yourself, and there isn't one."
The Buddha.
The truth of who we are, we are never a part from that oneness.
I.e. waves in an ocean. Waves are made of an ocean. There are waves, honor them, but do not forget this oceanness. This belonging, not far away.
What makes it so important to remember the ocean?
If we think ourselves just as waves. We will forget what is timeless, formless, and forget the true sense of loving belonging.
If you intuit that formless mystery.. it gives space for the changing life thats here.
You can then respond to what comes. Not tensing with what comes in the future, you can live it.
Two primary path ways to come to come to that remembrance of who we are beyond the small self.
A language in terms of ocean and waves, one way is to deepen our attention to the waves. Really open our attention to what is going on in the moment, discover the oceanness, and sense something larger to who we are. The other path way is to directly turn our attention to the quality of awareness itself.
We start with the waves, and the main waves that keep sustaining this perception of "I'm here" "I'm separate" and "something's wrong" is this narration in our brain. We are addicted to thought. And so we keep telling ourselves "what's wrong?" Which creates a biochemistry of worry and anxiety, and then turns more thoughts.
"We maintain our world with our inner dialogue. A man or woman of knowledge is aware that the world will change completely as soon as they stop talking to themselves."
Recognize the waves of thinking, these are thoughts, but not have to be lost in them.
Primary flag of trance and being stuck in obsessive thinking. Its a survival tool of the ego, and always goes over board.
Out a sight, out of mind.
Our emotions if left to their own devices, 1.5 minutes they come (aggrated, aggressive, whatever) they get fueled by our obsessive thinking. We keep our resentments going by remembering what this person did wrong to us, or our fears are going to making mistakes.
Whatever it is, we keep it going.
Key element of practice, is to recognize the ways of thoughts.
Keep asking yourself "am I dreaming right now?"
("I'm inside that movie right now")
I am not my thoughts.
These are waves, they are part of my ocean of being but they do not define me. My thoughts do not define me. They are real but they are not true.
Real but not true.
The content isn't truth.
Yet, so easy to take these waves (these virtual reality) that it is the real thing.
Black Lab story - LOL
The training is to begin to sense the waves of thoughts, and the gaps between the waves - thats when the light of awareness begins to shine through.
The training is to be quiet, and don't believe your mind. And don't believe your mind. And don't believe your mind.
The challenge is when there is sticky thoughts. When the waves are recurrent and really powerful. This is what we will call core beliefs.
Our beliefs affect so much of our experience.
Your beliefs creates your thoughts and the feelings. That creates your words. Then your actions. Then your destiny.
So when we have this recurrent waves of beliefs that comes through and don't remember that we are bigger then them, they are real but not true, we get caught in them. They keep in motion this sense of this small, limited, deficient self. We need to challenge them.
Deepen your attention to those waves. Feeling small, rejectable, and separate.
RAIN
Allow, the set of waves, offer attention and investigate.
R is recognize, A is allow, I is investigate.
We begin to ask questions. And the end of RAIN, N is nourish. Kindness.
(Example that I can totally relate to 25:03. The "ouch moment" believing that belief. So much suffering. "What do you wish for yourself right now?" Trust, believe, and feel lovable.
"It's ok sweetheart."
"Who would you be if you no longer believed you were unloveable?")
Deepen your attention to the wave, and then touching more into an ocean sense. Allows you to name. And have an opportunity for intimacy.
Where did I get emotionally stuck and reactive? Where I am some way down in myself.
What am I believing? What am I believing about myself?
Is it that I'm always going to fail, or that I'm unloveable, or that something is wrong with me? That I'll never be the person I want to be? That I'm not forgivable? That something is not acceptable about me?
Core beliefs, waves of the ocean I am getting stuck in.
Is it possible this belief is possible? I'm experiencing it but it is not true. Is it possible?
What is like when I'm believing this, and its full blown, and I'm really inside the wave, being tossed in the wave, really buying it? What goes on in my body and in my heart? Whats the feeling?
Opening to the waves, and feelings int he body. Hurt, fear, shame.. what goes with that belief? How has living with this belief affected my life? How has it kept me from doing? How has it kept me from intimacy and enjoyment? How has it kept me from letting in or expressing love? Or creativity? Aliveness?
Bring that nurturing in. Put your hand on your heart. Sense the part of that has been believing in this needs in this moment. No matter how you been doing this so far, you can always start in this moment by asking "what does the vulnerability of me in this moment need?"
Let in some care, holding with care, you are the compassionate presence that is holding me with care.
Who would I be if I didn't believe in that limiting belief anymore? Who would I be?
Feel that shift from that stuck self, to something more vast and mysterious and free.
What would my life be life if I didn't live with that belief anymore?
Take breaths, and feel what is going on inside of you. Revisit this when you have more time, bringing in these qualities of attention of clarity and kindness. These waves we have been stuck inside.
This pathway - look more deeply, there is more to this being, this vast ocean. Larger then that particular wave.
The other approach - begin to use that awareness and look into this mystery. Instead of the objects, or the forms, or the feelings.. really look into that vastness.
Story catapults into "don't know mind" where we think we know what it is all about, but this world is so vast and mysterious. What is love? What happens after we are here?
We are connected to something larger.
When with the dying, and when we face our own mortality. What is it that we don't want to forget? This longing is.. that we belong to something larger. This isn't in it, this little world of our thoughts, our fears, and our wants. There is a tremendous refuge of truth in that. Allows us to hold this world more lightly, but also cherish it. We are not grasping it to be a certain way and scared its going to go away, we develop more a fearless heart.
There are several pathways of training to have this remembrance.
The nature of awareness can be scary, or disorienting - takes away the ground that we are feeling, experiment with this. A "light touch." An embodied open way.
Guided Practice.
15 sec meditation, close your eyes and try not to be aware.
Close your eyes again, meditation for 5-6 minutes.
Sitting posture, full breaths - let the breaths gather your attention. If you can for another moment try not to be aware. Quickly notice that awareness is always here. We may not be aware of the awareness, but it is always here. The on going registering of sound, and sensations, and feelings. Let that awareness thats here be relocated. Imagine, it is in front of you and up a bit. Like a stage light. Your awareness looking down on this body and mind. Bearing witness, perceiving. Be aware of the body and sensations that is here, in what you call "you." Awareness is beaming down, picking up the thoughts that are in the background, and the feelings in your body. The sense of sitting here. Beaming awareness is surrounding you, an seeping inside. That awareness is outside and inside, aware from the inside out. Interior space of awareness, feeling sensations. Exterior, hearing sounds. Continuous field of sensations. The stillness that is perceiving aliveness and vibration. Awareness of the silence that is listening. The formless, and openness. That sounds and sensations are occurring in. Relaxing back - being that field of continuous awareness. Listening to and feeling of changing and movement of waves. You might inquire.. who is listening? Who is hearing these words? Turn the attention back, gently. What is aware? What is awareness? Then, just let go. Just be that awareness. That silence that is listening. Empty awake space. If a thought comes up, who is thinking? Turn the attention back to awareness. Who or what is aware? Just let go again.
"When I look into my mind, I see I am nothing. When I look into my heart, I see I am everything. Between the two, my life flows."
Sense in the heart space, the awareness of the level of the heart that cherishes the waves. Receiving everything that is arising in this heart space. You might bring to mind, a dear one. Let the image and sense of a dear one come to mind. Sense how this dear one is received in this open hearted awareness. This dear one floats. Is included. Is a part of your heart. Perhaps let another person arise in awareness. Sensing how this heart space holds this being. Awake. Open. Inclusive. Tender, intrinsically tender.
True homecoming is to the awake awareness. This open heartedness that your deepest nature. You are not a human awakening to spirit. You are spirit awareness awakening through this body mind. The truth you are seeking is already here.
"When I look into my mind, I see I am nothing. When I look into my heart, I see that I am everything. Between the two, my life flows."
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